World No. 9 Paula Badosa recently spoke about her chronic back injury. Due to these ongoing health issues, she has not competed since the WTA 1000 tournament in Miami.
Do you remember the exact moment you suffered the injury?
In Miami, I felt an intense pain, like a sudden lash. For almost four weeks afterwards, I couldn`t do anything – neither play tennis nor live a normal life. In the initial days in Monaco, I couldn`t even watch television because I couldn`t find a comfortable sitting position that wasn`t painful. The first nerve block injection provided absolutely no relief; I felt utterly desperate and terrible. After the second injection, the pain finally subsided, allowing me to resume a normal life. Gradually, I was able to start training and going to the gym again.
That sounds incredibly difficult to live with…
I wake up in fear every single day. Seriously, this week I had to message Pol [Toledo, her coach] at 5 AM because I couldn`t sleep due to the uncertainty – not knowing what state my back would be in the next day, or whether I`d be able to function normally. Mentally, this is by far the hardest part.
Based on what you`re saying, it seems you may never be able to step onto the court without some level of risk.
There will always be some risk involved, and that`s what concerns me the most. In my first match in Miami, I felt perfectly fine. I had been playing practice sets without any issues for a week leading up to it. But after just the sixth game, a sharp pain appeared suddenly, and it completely derailed me. I am very emotional, so I was trying to understand: Is this serious? Is it due to stress, or just an awkward movement? In moments like that, you feel completely lost. That`s when I decided: either I retire from the match, or I attempt to continue. Often, choosing not to retire only makes the condition worse. In some matches, I realize I`m not even competing against my opponent, but against my body – and that`s deeply frustrating.
Why do you continue to try and push through?
I can`t help it; I am very stubborn by nature. The only way I would end my career is if the doctors absolutely insisted on it – and I am constantly in communication with them. I have told them many times: Until you operate on me and tell me there is no other option, I will continue to have injections, even though I am well aware of how negatively they affect me and how harmful they are to my body in the long run.
What are the side effects?
There are many side effects, and they impact me significantly physically. But if these injections are what allow me to compete, I will continue to get them. That`s simply who I am.
You speak about ending your career so calmly, as if it`s something you see happening very soon.
That`s exactly right; I have come to terms with it. My strong will has helped me gradually process this reality: I know I will have to retire early, and the very next day after that, I will go in for surgery. I understand this given the path my career has taken and the specific issues I have with my back.
Is it truly worth enduring all of this?
Tennis brings me so much on a daily basis; the process itself is my absolute passion. Ultimately, I am only 27 years old. If I had to retire at 30 or 32, perhaps that would feel more acceptable. But if there`s a possibility for me to continue playing for a while longer, I will certainly try my best.
Would playing a reduced schedule help manage the injury?
That is precisely my dilemma: if I feel like I have recovered, my instinct is to want to play everywhere. Pol and I often disagree on this; he advises me not to look too far ahead beyond the next tournament, and not to fixate on qualifying for Riyadh [the WTA Finals]. However, I find this very difficult to accept. I have repeatedly asked myself the question: Do I want to try and play for five more years, but less frequently, or do I want to take risks now and fight for major titles and achievements? I believe the answer lies in finding a delicate balance.
Marcus Prine